The Curse of the Gary Anderson

Last night, I was sitting on my couch with my brother, marveling at this thing called Cable TV, which I have only seen once in the last month. Marveling at the moving pictures, we started watching ESPN, in which our lady Gopher Volleyball team was playing against the Texas Longhorns in the NATIONAL semi-finals. We are talking BIG TIMES. As a 11 seed, it was amazing that minnesota got this far. I was getting excited, thinking, "WOW a minnesota team might actually get to a CHAMPIONSHIP!" And then...reality set in. Miss 10 foot 1 on the Longhorns started swinging, making the gophers look like confused 5 year olds on their first day of kindergarten. Then they lost, of course, killing any hope that minnesota can play sports. We are very unfortunate, like boston did, to have a curse. We just can't win anything with this curse intact. This is called the Gary Anderson curse.

On that wonderful crisp January day in 1999, I was in the middle of an eventful and glorious skiing vacation with my family. On that Sunday, the Vikings were playing for the NFC Championship against the Falcons. We had a decision to make: go skiing on this sunny day, or watch the 15-1 Vikings CRUSH the falcons. Of course we chose to watch the game! We had nothing to lose, because we were GOOD and we were going to win! I mean, we already had a "Going to Miami" song based on Will Smith's song, and we knew we were a SHOE-IN for the superbowl. Well, Gary Anderson decided that "Hey, I suck" and missed a VITAL field goal, his first of the season. And thus, the minnesota curse began.
We are a state in which our last championship occured in 1991, thanks to my lovely minnesota twins. We have come so close, yet FALLEN, disgracefully too many times since. 1998-1999 season of football was a time in which we had the chance to be amazing, yet we FELL, and the curse into the 2000s began. During the 2000s, we had had a ALOT of hope. This is what happened in the decade:
Minnesota Twins: After almost a decade of losing seasons, the twins bounced back, with a great 2001 season and new coach, ron gardenhire. After gardy took charge with his feisty attitude(that gets him ejected from games sometimes!), the twins won 5 AL central titles, getting to the AL championship series only once, and losing HORRIBLY in the first round of the playoff every other time...huh.
Minnesota Vikings: The decade brought perhaps the most embarrassing moments for the state of minnesota, thanks to the ridiculous vikings. YIKES. The 2005 boat incident, and randy moss' antics made this an interesting time after them being good in 1998-9...now that there is a new coach, and good people such as Jared Allen, Adrian Peterson and Brett Favre, the team has turned around, but could the team ever win a superbowl after starting the curse? AND, they have lost 4! WHOO HOO!
Minneosta Timberwolves: Yikes. After losing Kevin Garnett and having Kevin McHale ruin EVERYTHING that the team had, they could perhaps become the worst NBA team in history this season. WHOOO HOOOOOOO!
Minnesota Wild: They got rid of everyone and are attempting to come back this season. They have yet to make it to a Stanley Cup.

And so, our sports teams have bad luck. Thank you Gary Anderson! Who is going to stop this curse? My bet is on this guy:

You can't really tell from this picture of him stretching, but Minnesota native Joe Mauer is everything that greatness should be. Missing the first month of the season, he came back ready to go with a BLAST of a homerun(that i witnessed!!) and was unstoppable the rest of the season, winning the AL Batting title with .365 average and helping the mediocre twins become amazing in September(of course!) and win the AL Central Title!!! He has received awards in the postseason such as AL MVP, gold glove and silver slugger. He also has one year left in his contract. He wants to go to the world series, and if he doesn't, he may just go to the dark side to get it. It is VERY crucial then for him to win a championship with this team, and he and every twins player is going to do whatever it takes to win this title, and keep him in Minnesota for years to come, because in the end the curse will be BROKEN!!!!!!!!!